A New York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter
asks him "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?"
The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a
homeless person on the street." Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in
the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true.
Saint Peter said, "Well , that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to
get you into Heaven."
The Lawyer said, "Wait Wait! There's more! Three years ago I also gave a
homeless person a quarter."
Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming
this, too, had been verified.
Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with
this fellow?"
Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, "Let's
give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell."