Stolen Car

Whilst walking his beat, a policeman is bemused to find a young man, clearly drunk, staggering about with a key in his hand.

"They've stolen my car," the drunk shouts. "It was right here earlier, right on the end of this key."

"More importantly, sir," the policeman says, "are you aware that your penis is hanging out?"

"Oh my God!" wails the drunk. "The bastards have got my girlfriend as well."