It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying
the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived
at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who
roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift
envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks
at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman
in a revealing negligee. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to
the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever
experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a
giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and
fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of
steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from
under the cup's bottom edge.
"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar
for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your
last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to
give you. He said, 'Fuck him. Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my
idea."