In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from
our employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through
our one program of special high intensity training. (S.H.I.T.) We are striving
to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other company. If you feel that you
do not receive your fair share of S.H.I.T., please see your manager. you will
immediately be placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list. Our managers are
especially skilled in seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Employees who don't take S.H.I.T. will be placed in the Department of Employee
Evaluation Program. (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.) Those who fail to take S.H.I.T. will have
to go to Employees Attitude Training. (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.)
Since our managers took. S.H.I.T. They dont have to do S.H.I.T. any more
because they are full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may
be qualified to train others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding
Lecture List(B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get
S.H.I.T. jobs and can apply for a Promotion to Director of Intensity
Programming(D.I.P.S.H.I.T) If you have any questions, please direct them to our
Head Of Training(H.O.T S.H.I.T.)
Thank you,
Boss in General
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T)