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entire administration is out to lunch.
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9.
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your call shortly.
Politicians on a Bus Accident
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road, when the bus ran
off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer,
after seeing what happened, went over to investigate.
A few days later, the local sheriff came out looking for the missing politicos, saw the crashed bus, and asked the farmer where all the politicians had gone.
The farmer said, "I buried 'em all... out back."
The sheriff then asked, "Were they ALL dead?"
The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."
A few days later, the local sheriff came out looking for the missing politicos, saw the crashed bus, and asked the farmer where all the politicians had gone.
The farmer said, "I buried 'em all... out back."
The sheriff then asked, "Were they ALL dead?"
The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."
Politician Son
An older couple had a son, who was still living with his parents. The parents
were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his career
path... so they decided to do a small test.
They took a ten-dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, hoping he would think they weren't at home.
The father told the mother, "If he takes the money he will be a businessman, if he takes the Bible he
will be a priest - but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard."
So the parents took their place in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive home. He saw the note they had left, saying they'd be home later.
Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket.
After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it, and took it also.
Finally, he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality.
Then he left for his room, carrying all the three items.
The father slapped his forehead, and said: "Darn, it's even worse than I ever imagined..."
"What do you mean?" his wife inquired.
"Our son is going to be a politician!"
They took a ten-dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, hoping he would think they weren't at home.
The father told the mother, "If he takes the money he will be a businessman, if he takes the Bible he
will be a priest - but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard."
So the parents took their place in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive home. He saw the note they had left, saying they'd be home later.
Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket.
After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it, and took it also.
Finally, he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality.
Then he left for his room, carrying all the three items.
The father slapped his forehead, and said: "Darn, it's even worse than I ever imagined..."
"What do you mean?" his wife inquired.
"Our son is going to be a politician!"
Congressman
A first-time Congressman was being interviewed by the local paper.
"Mr. Congressman," said the reporter, "when you get to Washington, are you going to be a pawn for the powerful interests that most of your constituents think will control you?"
"I resent that question, Sir," the Congressman replied. "I do not plan to take my wife to Washington."
"Mr. Congressman," said the reporter, "when you get to Washington, are you going to be a pawn for the powerful interests that most of your constituents think will control you?"
"I resent that question, Sir," the Congressman replied. "I do not plan to take my wife to Washington."
It's Just your Dirty Mind
I'm sure you can imagine
As plain as you can be
The place is Picadilly
The player is He and She
She whispered "Will it hurt me?"
"Of course not" answered he
"It's a very simple process,
You can rely on me."
She said "I'm frightened,
I've not had this before.
My friend has had it five times.
And said it can be sore.
Then finally contented
Laid back and relaxed a bit
Quickly and readily he bent over her
And then he started it.
It was growing rather painful
Tears formed in her eyes
It was hurting quite a bit now
It must have been quite a size
"Calm yourself" he whispered
His face was filled with a grin
"Try and open a bit wider
So I can get in."
"It's coming now." he whispered.
"I know." she cried in a bliss
Feeling it deep within her now
She said "I am glad I am having this.."
And with final effort
She gave a frightened shout.
He gripped it in anguish
And quickly pulled it out.
She lay back quite contented
Sighed and gave a smile
She said "I am glad I came now
You made it worth my while."
Now if you read this carefully
The dentist you will find...
Is not what you imagined
It's just your dirty mind!!!
As plain as you can be
The place is Picadilly
The player is He and She
She whispered "Will it hurt me?"
"Of course not" answered he
"It's a very simple process,
You can rely on me."
She said "I'm frightened,
I've not had this before.
My friend has had it five times.
And said it can be sore.
Then finally contented
Laid back and relaxed a bit
Quickly and readily he bent over her
And then he started it.
It was growing rather painful
Tears formed in her eyes
It was hurting quite a bit now
It must have been quite a size
"Calm yourself" he whispered
His face was filled with a grin
"Try and open a bit wider
So I can get in."
"It's coming now." he whispered.
"I know." she cried in a bliss
Feeling it deep within her now
She said "I am glad I am having this.."
And with final effort
She gave a frightened shout.
He gripped it in anguish
And quickly pulled it out.
She lay back quite contented
Sighed and gave a smile
She said "I am glad I came now
You made it worth my while."
Now if you read this carefully
The dentist you will find...
Is not what you imagined
It's just your dirty mind!!!
The First Time
It's your first time.
As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for awhile searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.
He asks if you're afraid, and you shake your head bravely.
He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.
He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be. He looks deeply within your eyes, and tells you to trust him-- he's done this many times before.
His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance.
You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time,
wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.
As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way;
pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of
blood as he continues.
He looks at you concerned, and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears, but you shake you head, and nod for him to go on.
He begins moving in and out with skill, but you are now too numb to feel him within you.
After a few frenzied moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over.
He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.
You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.
As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for awhile searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.
He asks if you're afraid, and you shake your head bravely.
He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.
He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be. He looks deeply within your eyes, and tells you to trust him-- he's done this many times before.
His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance.
You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time,
wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.
As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way;
pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of
blood as he continues.
He looks at you concerned, and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears, but you shake you head, and nod for him to go on.
He begins moving in and out with skill, but you are now too numb to feel him within you.
After a few frenzied moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over.
He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.
You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.
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