The Peep Show

Jack is one horny guy and is not sure what to do about it. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a five dollar bill. Jack walks down the street to the local brothel and knocks on the door.
The madam opens the door and asks Jack what she can do for him. "I'm really horny but I only have $5. What can you do for me?", Jack asks the madam. She looks over this fellow and tells him, "Don't worry we can take care of you. No problem".

She leads Jack into a room, and there is a chicken in the corner. Jack thinks about this a second and figures it can't be that bad. He gives the madam the $5 and she closes the door behind her.

Jack undresses and has the time of his life. When he's done he can't remember when he has had such a pleasurable experience.

One week later, and horny again, Jack has saved up $10. Being a satisfied customer he goes back to the same madam and asks what she can do for him for $10.

"Well, for $10 we have a special show", the madam replies. She leads him into a different room where there are several other people sitting on benches. "Sit back and enjoy the show, Jack", the madam tells him. Jack gives the money to the madam and takes a seat.

Soon after, the lights dim and the blinds open revealing another room on the other side of a two way mirror where two women begin to undress each other. Jack is very impressed. Clearly these women are unaware anyone is watching as they begin to make love to each other passionately. Apparently there is nothing they won't do to each other.

Jack once again feels like he is getting his money's worth. He turns to the person beside him and says, "This is a pretty good show for ten bucks eh?!".

The guy turns to Jack and says, "That's nothing... last week we saw a guy fuck a chicken".

That's no Ring

A guy was on his first date with a notoriously loose girl. She was immediately receptive to his foreplay after they parked. The petting increased and he put his hand in her panties.
She seemed to be enjoying his progress, but suddenly objected, "Ouch! That ring is hurting me!"

"That's no ring! That's my wristwatch."

Spread the Legs Farther

A young couple were banging away like there was no tomorrow, when the boy stopped and asked the girl to spread her legs farther apart, which she eagerly did, anticipating more of his enthusiastic vigor. Instead, he timidly asked her to spread her legs even farther apart.

She said, "Why? What are you trying to do, ram your balls inside me?"

"No. I've already done that. Now I am trying to get them back out."

Small Organ

A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and after a few drinks they went home together.

After some more drinking and talking, they got undressed and climbed into bed.

After a few minutes, the girl started laughing.

The fellow asked her, "What's so funny?"

"Your organ," she laughed, "It's a bit on the small side!"

He shot back acidly, "Well, it's not used to playing in cathedrals."

Six Girls for the Night

A guy walks into a brothel and tells the madam he wants six girls for the evening. The next morning the madam informs the gentleman that there will be no charge. Very happy, he leaves.

A few days later he returns, and again tell the madam that he would like six girls for the evening. In the morning the madam presents him with a bill for $1,000.

Confused the man asks, "I don't understand, on Tuesday it was free."

"That's right," replies the madam, "but on Tuesdays we're on cable."

Sex with a Racing Car Driver

The racing-car driver picked up a girl after a race, went home with her and took her to bed. He fell asleep only to be awakened suddenly when she smacked him in the face.

"What's the matter?!? Didn't I satisfy you when we screwed?" he asked.

"It was after you fell asleep that got you into trouble," said the angry woman. "In your sleep, you felt my tits and mumbled, 'What perfect headlights.' Then you felt my thighs and murmured, 'what a smooth finish.'"

"What's wrong with that?" asked the driver.

"Nothing, but then you felt my pussy and yelled, 'who the hell left the garage door open?'"