A gynecologist had a burning desire to change careers and become a mechanic.
So she found out from her local tech college what was involved, signed up for
evening classes and attended diligently, learning all she could. When time for
the practical exam approached, she prepared carefully for weeks, and completed
the exam with tremendous skill.
When the results came back, she was surprised to find that she had obtained a
mark of 150%. Fearing an error, she called the instructor, saying "I don't want
to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if there had
been an error which needed adjusting."
The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly,
which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again
perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark. I gave you an extra 50% because
you did all of it THROUGH the muffler..."
Broom Factory
A young Southern peasant girl of fourteen went to work in a broom factory.
After 2 months she gave the boss a two-week notice.
The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard working, knew her tasks etc.
He called her into his office, "But why?" he asked.
"Nothin, I just wanna quit that's all," she said sullenly.
"Look, I'll give you a raise." "No," she said.
"You can't just quit like that. There must be a reason.Tell me."
"Okay if you must know..." said the girl, and she took off her underwear and pointed to her pubic hair, "Look, I haven't had this before, it's the broom's bristles, I tell you..."
Tickled by her innocence, he too took off his underwear and showed his, and said, "Ha ha...my dear, it's nature. Look, I have it, too...."
"Oh no!" the girl cried, "I can't wait two weeks, I quit now! Not only do you have the bristles, but you've grown the handle as well."
The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard working, knew her tasks etc.
He called her into his office, "But why?" he asked.
"Nothin, I just wanna quit that's all," she said sullenly.
"Look, I'll give you a raise." "No," she said.
"You can't just quit like that. There must be a reason.Tell me."
"Okay if you must know..." said the girl, and she took off her underwear and pointed to her pubic hair, "Look, I haven't had this before, it's the broom's bristles, I tell you..."
Tickled by her innocence, he too took off his underwear and showed his, and said, "Ha ha...my dear, it's nature. Look, I have it, too...."
"Oh no!" the girl cried, "I can't wait two weeks, I quit now! Not only do you have the bristles, but you've grown the handle as well."
Bridge
A lady was applying for a position as a housekeeper and when asked why she
left her last employment, she replied, "Yes, they paid good wages, but it was
the most ridiculous place I ever worked. They played a game called "Bridge" and
last night there were a lot of folks there.
As I was about to serve refreshments, I heard a man say, "Lay down and let's see what you've got". Then another man said, I've got strength but no length". Then another man said to a lady, "Take your hand off my trick".
I pretty near dropped dead. Just then, the lady answered "You forced me; you jumped me twice when you didn't have the strength for one raise".
"Another woman was talking about protecting her honor. Well, I got my hat and coat as I was leaving I hope to die...if one of them didn't say "I guess I'll go home now; this is the last rubber". Then I fainted out cold!
As I was about to serve refreshments, I heard a man say, "Lay down and let's see what you've got". Then another man said, I've got strength but no length". Then another man said to a lady, "Take your hand off my trick".
I pretty near dropped dead. Just then, the lady answered "You forced me; you jumped me twice when you didn't have the strength for one raise".
"Another woman was talking about protecting her honor. Well, I got my hat and coat as I was leaving I hope to die...if one of them didn't say "I guess I'll go home now; this is the last rubber". Then I fainted out cold!
Blindman
Mary had just got out of the bath and was standing naked in her bedroom when
there was a knock at the door, "whos there" she called out.
"It's all right, Iam a blindman" came the reply, trepidation gave way to compassion and she opened the door to him.
"Hmmm, nice pair of tits, now where do you want me to put this blind"
"It's all right, Iam a blindman" came the reply, trepidation gave way to compassion and she opened the door to him.
"Hmmm, nice pair of tits, now where do you want me to put this blind"
Blind Salesman
A lady goes into the local sporting goods store to buy a fishing rod to give
to her husband for his birthday.
A salesman wearing dark glasses with a dog is behind the counter and asks, "Can I help you ma'am?"
"Well, I'd like to buy a fishing rod, can you tell me about this one?" she answers.
The salesman replies, "I'm sorry ma'am but I am blind and can not see the rod your referring too. However, if you'll drop it on the counter I'll tell you all about it as I can tell from the sound it makes."
The lady picks up the rod, and does what he says and drops it on the counter.
He belts, "That's a Zebco 2500, fiberglass, 6.5', medium action - $15."
Lady - "Wow !"
She finds another and does the same. "Thats an Orion 35C, graphite, 6', light action - best used with ultralight tackle - $20."
Very impressed the lady decides to buy the second one.
As the man is ringing up the sale, the lady makes a rather large noise as she passes gas but feels no need to apologize as the salesman is blind and has no idea who she is.
Salesman says, "That'll be $25."
"TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS !? YOU SAID $20?"
"That's right ma'am, $20 for the rod, $3 for the duck call, and $2 for the fish bait."
A salesman wearing dark glasses with a dog is behind the counter and asks, "Can I help you ma'am?"
"Well, I'd like to buy a fishing rod, can you tell me about this one?" she answers.
The salesman replies, "I'm sorry ma'am but I am blind and can not see the rod your referring too. However, if you'll drop it on the counter I'll tell you all about it as I can tell from the sound it makes."
The lady picks up the rod, and does what he says and drops it on the counter.
He belts, "That's a Zebco 2500, fiberglass, 6.5', medium action - $15."
Lady - "Wow !"
She finds another and does the same. "Thats an Orion 35C, graphite, 6', light action - best used with ultralight tackle - $20."
Very impressed the lady decides to buy the second one.
As the man is ringing up the sale, the lady makes a rather large noise as she passes gas but feels no need to apologize as the salesman is blind and has no idea who she is.
Salesman says, "That'll be $25."
"TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS !? YOU SAID $20?"
"That's right ma'am, $20 for the rod, $3 for the duck call, and $2 for the fish bait."
Bill Collector
A bill collector came knocking at the door of a lady who had fallen behind on
her bills.
"All right, lady," said the bill collector, "how about the next installment on that couch?"
The lady shrugged. "I guess that's better than having to give you money."
"All right, lady," said the bill collector, "how about the next installment on that couch?"
The lady shrugged. "I guess that's better than having to give you money."
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