"I'd like to buy some gloves for my wife," the young man said, eyeing the
attractive salesgirl,
"but I don't know her size."
"Will this help?" she asked sweetly, placing her hand in his.
"Oh, yes," he answered. "Her hands are just slightly smaller that yours."
"Will there be anything else?" the salesgirl queried as she wrapped the
gloves.
"Now that you mention it," he replied, "she also needs a bra and panties."
Divorced Barbie
Ralph was driving home one evening when he suddenly realized that it was his
daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present.
He drove to the mall, ran to the toy store and asked the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?"
In a condescending manner, she replied, "Which Barbie?" She continued, "We have Barbie Goes To The Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes To The Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes To The Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Night clubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $255.00".
Ralph asked, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $255.00 when all the others are only $19.95?"
"That's obvious" the sales lady said. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, and Ken's furniture".
He drove to the mall, ran to the toy store and asked the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?"
In a condescending manner, she replied, "Which Barbie?" She continued, "We have Barbie Goes To The Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes To The Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes To The Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Night clubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $255.00".
Ralph asked, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $255.00 when all the others are only $19.95?"
"That's obvious" the sales lady said. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, and Ken's furniture".
Costume to a Party
A guy goes into a costume shop. He says, "I'm going to a costume party, I
want to go as Adam." The girl brings out a fig leaf. He says, "Not big
enough."
She brings out a bigger one. He says, "Still not big enough." She brings out a huge fig leaf. He says, "Still not big enough."
She says, "Listen, Ace, why don't you just throw it over your shoulder and go as a gasoline pump?"
She brings out a bigger one. He says, "Still not big enough." She brings out a huge fig leaf. He says, "Still not big enough."
She says, "Listen, Ace, why don't you just throw it over your shoulder and go as a gasoline pump?"
Bra Types
A man walked into a fancy lingerie department and told the clerk that he
wanted to buy a bra for his wife.
The clerk asked the man, "What type of bra does she need?"
"Type? There are different types of bra's?"
"Yes," the clerk responds. "There is the Catholic type, the Salvation Army type and the Baptist type."
"What's the difference?"
"Well...," the clerk answered. "The Catholic type supports the masses.
The Salvation Army type uplifts the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills."
The clerk asked the man, "What type of bra does she need?"
"Type? There are different types of bra's?"
"Yes," the clerk responds. "There is the Catholic type, the Salvation Army type and the Baptist type."
"What's the difference?"
"Well...," the clerk answered. "The Catholic type supports the masses.
The Salvation Army type uplifts the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills."
Wheelbarrow
After hearing a couple's complaints that their intimate life wasn't what it
used to be, the sex counselor suggested they vary their position.
"For example," he suggested, "you might try the wheelbarrow. Lift her legs, penetrate, and off you go."
The eager husband was all for trying this new idea as soon as they got home.
"Well, OK," the hesitant wife agreed, "but on two conditions. First, if it hurts, you will stop right away. And second," she insisted, "you have to promise we won't go past my mother's house."
"For example," he suggested, "you might try the wheelbarrow. Lift her legs, penetrate, and off you go."
The eager husband was all for trying this new idea as soon as they got home.
"Well, OK," the hesitant wife agreed, "but on two conditions. First, if it hurts, you will stop right away. And second," she insisted, "you have to promise we won't go past my mother's house."
Bigger breasts
A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know
intended to stock up.
At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher. "don't worry, ya ," he said. "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping."
Several aisles later, my friend heard the butcher's voice boom over the public-address system: "Will the lady who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store."
At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher. "don't worry, ya ," he said. "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping."
Several aisles later, my friend heard the butcher's voice boom over the public-address system: "Will the lady who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)