Doctor, the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up
for my wife anymore."
"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can
do."
The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your
clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down
please. Uh-huh, I see. Ok, you may put your clothes back on."
The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your
wife didn't give me an erection, either."
Sexual Performance Problem
A man goes to a doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a sexual performance
problem. Can you help me?"
"Oh, that's not a problem anymore!" announces the proud physician. "They just came out with
this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick! You take some pills and your problems are history." So, the doctor gives the man a prescription and sends him on his merry way.
A couple of months later, the doctor runs into his patient on the street.
"Doctor, Doctor!" exclaims the man excitedly, "I've got to thank you! This drug is a miracle! It's wonderful!"
"Well, I'm glad to hear that," says the pleased physician. "What does your wife think about it?"
"Wife?" asks the man. "I haven't been home yet."
"Oh, that's not a problem anymore!" announces the proud physician. "They just came out with
this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick! You take some pills and your problems are history." So, the doctor gives the man a prescription and sends him on his merry way.
A couple of months later, the doctor runs into his patient on the street.
"Doctor, Doctor!" exclaims the man excitedly, "I've got to thank you! This drug is a miracle! It's wonderful!"
"Well, I'm glad to hear that," says the pleased physician. "What does your wife think about it?"
"Wife?" asks the man. "I haven't been home yet."
Sex Problem
A bloke goes to the doctor and says, "I got this sex problem, doc". "Well",
says the quack,
"Tell me about your average day".
"Well, it all starts in the middle of the night. My wife always wakes me up about 3:00 am for nookie and then again about 5 o'clock so we can spend a couple of hours making love before I go to work".
"Oh I see", said the doc".
"No, hang on", said the young man,"...you see, when I get on the train to work I meet this girl every day and we get a compartment to ourselves and have sex all the way there".
"Oh....now I see", said the quack.
"No you don't", said our hero. "When I get to work my secretary really fancies me and I have to give her one in the storeroom".
"Oh....now I see", said the quack.
"No no no", said the randy old bugger. "When I go to lunch I meet this diner lady I'm very fond of and we nip out the back for a quickie".
"Now I understand", said the patient doctor.
"No, hang on", said the bloke. "When I get back to work in the afternoon my boss, a very demanding lady I might add, has to have me or she says she'll give me the sack".
"Ahh....", said the doctor, "now I see..".
"No, there's more", said our man, "when I get home my wife is so pleased to see me she gives me a blow job before dinner and then we have sex afterwards".
"What's your problem?". asked the doc.
"Well...", said our hero, "it hurts when I wank".
"Tell me about your average day".
"Well, it all starts in the middle of the night. My wife always wakes me up about 3:00 am for nookie and then again about 5 o'clock so we can spend a couple of hours making love before I go to work".
"Oh I see", said the doc".
"No, hang on", said the young man,"...you see, when I get on the train to work I meet this girl every day and we get a compartment to ourselves and have sex all the way there".
"Oh....now I see", said the quack.
"No you don't", said our hero. "When I get to work my secretary really fancies me and I have to give her one in the storeroom".
"Oh....now I see", said the quack.
"No no no", said the randy old bugger. "When I go to lunch I meet this diner lady I'm very fond of and we nip out the back for a quickie".
"Now I understand", said the patient doctor.
"No, hang on", said the bloke. "When I get back to work in the afternoon my boss, a very demanding lady I might add, has to have me or she says she'll give me the sack".
"Ahh....", said the doctor, "now I see..".
"No, there's more", said our man, "when I get home my wife is so pleased to see me she gives me a blow job before dinner and then we have sex afterwards".
"What's your problem?". asked the doc.
"Well...", said our hero, "it hurts when I wank".
Screw in the Head
One day this lady goes into a plastic surgeon's office. She wanted something
that would take away the wrinkles in her face. The doctor suggested that they
put a screw in her head and every time she wanted the wrinkles out of her face
she would tighten the screw. The lady agreed to this idea and went home with a
screw in her head.
About a month later the lady came in complaining that the screw wasn't working.
"look at these bags under my eyes, they're hideous! I want my money back!" "Listen lady," said the doc, "those bags are your breasts and if you keep tightening that screw all the time you're soon gonna have a beard!"
About a month later the lady came in complaining that the screw wasn't working.
"look at these bags under my eyes, they're hideous! I want my money back!" "Listen lady," said the doc, "those bags are your breasts and if you keep tightening that screw all the time you're soon gonna have a beard!"
Samples for the Doctor
One day an old man got really sick so his wife went to the doctor and told
him that her husband had a lack of energy, a cough, and couldn't get an
erection. The doctor said that there was nothing that he could do until he had a
stool, urine, and sperm sample from the man.
When the old woman got home to her husband, he asked, "What did the doctor say?"
She responded, "He wants a pair of your underwear."
When the old woman got home to her husband, he asked, "What did the doctor say?"
She responded, "He wants a pair of your underwear."
Same Doctor II
A lady wanted bigger breasts, so she went to her doctor to get a referral to
a plastic surgeon.
Her doctor said he would like her to try an exercise before surgery or drugs, and see how it works first. He stood up to demonstrate, held his arms straight out to the side, rotated them counterclockwise, and said, "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if I do this enough, I'll have a big bust." The doctor had her try it. The told her to do it as often as she can, and to come back in a week.
One week later, she's back at the doctor, and tells him that it didn't work. The doctor asks her how often she did the exercise, she says 4-5 times a day. The doctor tells her to do it more, 30 times a day at least, and asks her to come back in 1 week. She tries this, performing the exercise whenever she can.
One day, as she waited to check out at Safeway, she started her exercise. "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if I do this enough, I'll have a big bust."
The man in front of her turns around, asks if she sees Dr. Johnson. "Yes, how did you know?" she queries.
The man faces her, places both hands on his hips, moves his hips in a circular motion, and says, "Hickory dickory dock......."
Her doctor said he would like her to try an exercise before surgery or drugs, and see how it works first. He stood up to demonstrate, held his arms straight out to the side, rotated them counterclockwise, and said, "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if I do this enough, I'll have a big bust." The doctor had her try it. The told her to do it as often as she can, and to come back in a week.
One week later, she's back at the doctor, and tells him that it didn't work. The doctor asks her how often she did the exercise, she says 4-5 times a day. The doctor tells her to do it more, 30 times a day at least, and asks her to come back in 1 week. She tries this, performing the exercise whenever she can.
One day, as she waited to check out at Safeway, she started her exercise. "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if I do this enough, I'll have a big bust."
The man in front of her turns around, asks if she sees Dr. Johnson. "Yes, how did you know?" she queries.
The man faces her, places both hands on his hips, moves his hips in a circular motion, and says, "Hickory dickory dock......."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)