A certain couple loved to compete with each other, comparing their achievements in every aspect of their lives: salaries, athletic abilities, social accomplishments, and so on. Everything was a contest, and the husband sank into a deep depression because he had yet to win a single one.
Finally he sought professional counsel, explaining to the shrink that while
he wouldn't mind losing once in a while, his unbroken string of defeats had
gotten him pretty down. "Simple enough. All we have to do is devise a game which
you can't possibly lose."
The shrink thought for a moment, then proposed a pissing contest. "Whoever
can pee higher on the wall wins- and how could any woman win?"
Running home, the husband called upstairs, "Darling, I've got a new
"OOOH, I love games," she squealed, running down the stairs. "WHAT IS
"C'mon out here" he instructed, pulling her around to the patio. "We're going
to stand here, piss on the wall, and whoever makes the highest mark wins."
"What fun! I'll go first." The woman proceeded to lift her dress, then her
leg, and pee on the wall about six inches from the ground. She turned to him
"Okay, now it's my turn," said the husband eagerly. He unzipped his fly,
pulled out his penis, and was just about to pee when his wife interrupted.
"Hang on a sec," she cried out. "NO HANDS ALLOWED!"