Sign on Top of their Car

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: "TWO PROSTITUTES -- $50.00."

A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail.

Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES."

One of the girls asked the cop: "How come you don't stop them?!"

"Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion."

So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their sign down and drove off.

The following day found the same cop in the area when he noticed the two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. Figuring he had an easy arrest, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign which now read: "TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER -- $50.00."

Rise Caesar!

A rather bookish young man goes into a whorehouse to seek entertainment. He goes up to the madam and says, "Madam, I'd like woman for the evening."

The Madam says, "Sir, I'm afraid all the girls are taken tonight, but if you'd care to, I'm available."

So the guy and the madam go into a bedroom and get undressed. As he takes off his clothes, she looks him over and she notices that, flaccid, he's only two inches long. But then the guy says, "Rise, Caesar!"

And his cock rises to a full 12 inches. So they have a great time, and after about five hours the madam is very impressed.

"Sir," she says, "this has been one of the most pleasurable evenings of my life. I was wondering if you'd mind if I called the girls in so they could have a look at you. You're really something special, you know."

But the guy says, "No, madam, no. I have come to bury Caesar, not to praise him."