Strayed Rooster

A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road a strayed rooster. Wack! The rooster disappeared under the car in a cloud of feathers.

Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse and rang the doorbell. A farmer appeared.

The man somewhat nervously said, "I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him."
"Suit yourself," the farmer replied, "the hens are round the back."

Starving Fly

There was a fly buzzing around a barn one-day when he happened on a pile of fresh cow manure. It had been hours since his last meal so he flew down and ate and ate and ate.

When he decided that he had eaten enough, he tried to fly away. But he had eaten too much, and could not get off the ground. As he looked around wondering what to do now, he spotted a pitchfork leaning up against the wall of the barn. He climbed to the top of the handle and jumped off, thinking that once he got airborne, he would be able to take flight.

Unfortunately he was wrong. The fly dropped like a rock, splatting when he hit the floor. You won't be surprised to learn that like any good fable this one has a moral.

The moral of the story is: Never fly off the handle when you're full of shit.