Baby Swallowed a Condom

A Doctor's Phone Rang at home at Three o'clock in the morning.

Sleepily he answered "Hello?"

A very frantic woman said, "Doctor, our baby just swallowed a condom."

The Doctor said, "Take him to the Hospital and I'll meet you just as soon as I get there." He started putting on his clothes and was just getting ready to walk out the door, when the phone rang again. He answered "Hello?"

A very calm voice on the other end of the line said, "That's alright Doctor, we found another one, never mind."

At a Senior Citizen's Check Up

A senior citizen visits his doctor for a routine check-up and everything seems fine. The doctor asks him about his sex life.

"Well..." the man drawled, "not bad at all to be honest. The wife ain't all that interested anymore, so I just cruise around. In the past week I was able to pick-up and bed at least three
girls, none of whom were over thirty years old."

"My goodness Frank, and at your age too." the doctor said. "I hope you took at least some precautions."

"Yep. I may be old, but I ain't senile yet doc. I gave 'em all a phony name."

Arse Eye

A few days before his proctological exam, a one-eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye.

He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it.

Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed his instructions, undressed and bent over.

The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's butt was that glass eye staring right back at him!

"You know," said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me."