(Must be read with an Italian accent, preferably out loud)
One day Im'a gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Inna morning I go to eat breakfast.
I tella waitress I wanna two pissa toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella
her I want two piss. She says go to the toilet. I say you no understand...I
wanna to piss onna my plate. She say you better not piss onna plate, you sonna
Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and
a knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tella me everyone wanna fock.
I tella her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say better not
fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she calla
me sonna ma bitch.
So I go to my room inna hotel and there is no sheit onna my bed. I calla the
manager and tella him I wanna sheit. He tella me to go to the toilet. I say you
no understand. I wanna sheit on my bed. He say you better not sheit onna bed,
you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the man and he calla me a sonna ma bitch.
I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you." I say piss
on you too, you sonna ma bitch.
I gonna back to Italy.