There was a redneck father and son who were always in competition with each
other. One day the son left to take an entrance exam at a university. He wanted
to major in medicine.
A week later he returned from his trip looking very down in the dumps.
"How was the exam?" asked his father.
"They asked quite a lot of 'fill in the missing letter' questions about first
aid and stuff. I got a score of 75%. It wasn't good enough to get accepted," the
boy replied.
"Well in that case I better take that exam myself," the father said.
So off to the university he went. A week later the father returned from his
trip looking very down in the dumps.
"How was the exam?" asked his son.
"They asked quite a lot of 'fill in the missing letter' questions about first
aid and I got them all wrong but one."
"Gee, Dad. Which question was that?"
"The question was...", started the father, "What do you do when you come
across a lady which has fainted. You feel her pu_s_?"
"That's easy", the son replied. "The answer is pulse."
Redneck Birth Control
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough
(they could not afford a larger doublewide). So, the husband went to his doctor
(who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to
have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem.
The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."
So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10.
Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count.
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . . ", at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem.
The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."
So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10.
Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count.
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . . ", at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.
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