A fellow walks into his doctor's office, complaining that he thinks he might have a tapeworm. The doctor makes a physical examination and listens to the symptoms, and concurs with the self-diagnosis.

"I want you to come back tomorrow, to start treatment. And bring a banana and a cookie with you" said the doctor.

Despite the seemingly odd request, our hero complies, and returns the next day with a banana and a cookie. The doctor says "Okay, now drop your pants and bend over. This is going to hurt a bit."

Although leery about the turn of events, the patient drops his pants and bends over. The doctor peels the banana and with one deft motion rams it up the guy's ass. While the doctor consults his watch, our hero dances around the room shouting at the doctor.

"Okay, one minute is up, and we have to complete the second part of the treatment if your truly want to get rid of this tapeworm" advises doc. Despite the pain, the patient does want to be cured, so complies with the order to bend over again. Again, the doctor takes the cookie and rams it up the patient's ass.

"Okay, tomorrow I want to see you here at the same time, and bring another banana and a cookie" says the doctor. The now humbled patient, with tears of pain in his eyes, nods his head.

Next day, the same routine ensues. First the doctor rams up a banana, waits exactly one minute, then rams up a cookie.

And the next day, and the next day and the next!! Every day UP goes a banana, wait one minute, then UP goes a cookie.

After one full week of treatments, the doctor finally says "Well, tomorrow is the LAST day of treatments. I want you to bring in a banana and a hammer."

"Not a cookie?" asks the very frightened patient, trying to imagine what a hammer was going to feel like. "Nope, a hammer" confirmed the doctor.

The last day the doctor says "Okay, you know the routine". So the man drops his pants and bends over. UP goes the banana, and the doctor looks at his watch and picks up the hammer. One minute passes. Then two minutes. Three. Four minutes pass. Then a little head pokes out the patient's ass and says "WHERE'S MY DAMN COOKIE!?!?"

::::: WHAM :::::

Swollen Dick

A young man goes to a doctor for a physical examination.

When he gets into the room, the man strips for his exam. He has a dick the size of a little kid's little finger.

A nurse standing in the room sees his little dick and begins to laugh hysterically.

The young man gives her a stern look and say, "You shouldn't laugh, it's been swollen like that for two weeks now!"


A man was constipated. It was serious, so he decided to go to the doctor.

The doctor said, "I'm going to give you some suppositories. I'll put one in now and I'll give you another one for later."

The man goes home and starts feeling sick again. He asks has his wife to put a suppository in.

She puts one hand on his shoulder and sticks the suppository in. "AAAAAAAHHHHH!" he screamed. His wife asks him, "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

"No, I just realized that the doctor had both of his hands on my shoulders!"