Three Flies

OK, so there were these three flies, and they decided to spend the night in a woman's body.

The first one went in between the boobs, the second went up the ass and the third went in the pussy.

They all woke up the next morning and were talking about their nights.

The first one said, "I had a great night, sleeping between two pillows."

The second one said, "Same with me except for the fact that I could swear that, smelt almost like home in there."

The third one looked REALLY tired and said; "I had a horrible night. Every quarter of a second this little bald guy came in and spat on me!!!"

Three Ducks in the Bar

This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks. One in each hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar. He has a few drinks and chats with the Bartender.

The Bartender is experienced and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn't mention the ducks. They chat for about 30 minutes before the guy with the ducks has to go to the restroom. The ducks are left on the bar.

The bartender is alone with the ducks. There is an awkward silence. The Bartender decides to try to make some conversation. "What's your name?" He says to the first duck.

"Huey" said the first duck.

"How's your day been, Huey?"

"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day".

"Oh. That's nice.", says the Bartender.

Then he says to the second duck "Hi. And what's your name?".

"Dewey" came the answer.

"So how's your day been, Dewey?".

"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day.

If I had the chance another day I would do the same again".

So the Bartender turns to the third duck and says "So, you must be Louie".

"No", growls the third duck, "My name is Puddles. And don't ask about my fucking day".