Who's Obsess with Sex

A man goes to a psychiatrist, and tells him, "Doc, I think I have an obsession with sex."

The doctor agrees to examine him and begins by showing him various drawings. First the doctor draws a square and asks the man to identify it.

The man immediately says, "OMIGOSH!! Four people having sex!!!!".

Next the doctor draws a circle, at which the man gasps, and says, "One man having sex."

Thirdly, the doctor draws a triangle, which, of course, the patient identifies as, "two woman and one man having sex".

The doctor puts the drawings away and says to the patient, "Yes, I do believe that you have an obsession with sex."

To which the man replies, "ME????? YOU'RE the one drawing all the dirty pictures!"

Wet Dreams

A man went to his doctor and told him of his extremely active sex life, he said he had a wife, several mistresses, masturbated frequently, and had wet dreams every night.

The Doctor asked which he liked the best.

He Replied, "Wet dreams...you meet a much higher class of people in them."

Visiting a Doctor Friend

A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room.

But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "I hope, doctor, you don't mind Johnny being in there."

"No," said the doctor calmly, "He'll be quiet when he gets to the poisons."


Charlie wanted a new birth control method and his doctor suggested a vasectomy. Charlie agreed and the doctor said he could perform the operation in his office. At a crucial moment during the procedure one of Charlie's testicles fell to the floor, and the nurse, who was wearing high heels, accidentally stepped on it and crushed it.
[Standard operating procedure.]

However, the doctor noticed a jar of pickled onions on his nurse's desk. Taking an onion, and realizing it was the right size and weight, he placed it in Charlie's scrotum and completed the operation.
[Standard operating procedure.]

A few months later Charlie returned for a check up. When the doctor asked how things were going, Charlie replied. "Pretty good, Doc. At least my wife's not pregnant, but there are some strange side effects. Every time we make love, my wife gets heartburn; when I pee my eyes water; and whenever I pass a hamburger stand, I have an erection.


One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great checkup. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?"

"Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 15 to 2."