Son Caught V.D.

"Doc, I think my son has VD," a patient told his urologist on the phone. "The only woman he's screwed is our maid."

"Ok, don't be hard on him. He's just a kid," the medic soothed. "Get him in here right away and I'll take care of him."

"But, Doc. I've been screwing the maid too and I've got the same symptoms he has." Said the man.

"Then you come in with him and I'll fix you both up." Replied the Doc.

"Well," the man admitted, " I think my wife has it too."

"Son of a bitch!" the physician roared. "That means we've all got it!"

Small Dick

One summer, the company Dave worked for transferred him to another city, and Dave was told that he had to take a new physical with the company doctor.

All the tests came out fine, but the doctor remarked that Dave had the smallest
dick he'd ever seen. "Do you have any difficulties with it being so small?" the doc asked.

"Shit, no," Dave said. "I've got a wife, three kids, and a great sex life. But I do sometimes have a problem finding it in the daytime."

"What about at night?" the doc asked.

"Nights are no problem," Dave said. 'cause there's two of us looking for it then."

Sexual Problem

Doctor, the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore."

"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."

The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Ok, you may put your clothes back on."

The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection, either."

Sexual Performance Problem

A man goes to a doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?"

"Oh, that's not a problem anymore!" announces the proud physician. "They just came out with
this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick! You take some pills and your problems are history." So, the doctor gives the man a prescription and sends him on his merry way.

A couple of months later, the doctor runs into his patient on the street.

"Doctor, Doctor!" exclaims the man excitedly, "I've got to thank you! This drug is a miracle! It's wonderful!"

"Well, I'm glad to hear that," says the pleased physician. "What does your wife think about it?"

"Wife?" asks the man. "I haven't been home yet."

Sex Problem

A bloke goes to the doctor and says, "I got this sex problem, doc". "Well", says the quack,

"Tell me about your average day".

"Well, it all starts in the middle of the night. My wife always wakes me up about 3:00 am for nookie and then again about 5 o'clock so we can spend a couple of hours making love before I go to work".

"Oh I see", said the doc".

"No, hang on", said the young man," see, when I get on the train to work I meet this girl every day and we get a compartment to ourselves and have sex all the way there".

" I see", said the quack.

"No you don't", said our hero. "When I get to work my secretary really fancies me and I have to give her one in the storeroom".

" I see", said the quack.

"No no no", said the randy old bugger. "When I go to lunch I meet this diner lady I'm very fond of and we nip out the back for a quickie".

"Now I understand", said the patient doctor.

"No, hang on", said the bloke. "When I get back to work in the afternoon my boss, a very demanding lady I might add, has to have me or she says she'll give me the sack".

"Ahh....", said the doctor, "now I see..".

"No, there's more", said our man, "when I get home my wife is so pleased to see me she gives me a blow job before dinner and then we have sex afterwards".

"What's your problem?". asked the doc.

"Well...", said our hero, "it hurts when I wank".