Put Out or Get Out

A fellow with a slight speech impediment and a lower-than-room-temperaure IQ was talking to his friend about his problems getting laid.

He said, "You know, I can't get me no g-g-girls." His friend said, ''Well, you about a stupid fart! Don't you have lots and lots of money?" He said, "Yeah, I got the m-m-m-money. I just can't g-g-get no g-g-g-girls." His friend said, "Well, it's easy! Just use some of that money of yours and buy a boat! Women LOVE boats! You get a girl to go for a ride on your boat, you take her 50 miles out, you take the keys out of the ignition, and you say, "Put out or get out." The slow fellow said, "Sound like a good idea to me!"

He bought him a nice boat. On the first day, he had the boat moored where everybody could see it. A girl came walking by. He said, Y-Y-You wanna go for a boat wide?" She stopped for a look at the boat. He said, "That's my boat out there. Uh-huh, it is. Wanna go for a wide?" She thought he was a little weird, but she loved boats. She went with him. He took her 50 miles out, took the keys out of the ignition, and said, "Put, put, put out, put it all out, or get out." She figured she didn't have much choice. She dropped her little bikini bottom, and he ran over and got some.

The next day he tried it again. A girl came by, and he said, "Honeeee! That's my boat out there. Wanna go for a boat wide?" She figured "What the Hell?" She went. He took her 50 miles out, grabbed the keys, and said, "Put, Put out or get, get out," she decided that it was better than drowning, and she dropped her little swimsuit and let him have it.
By the third day, he was cocky. He'd gotten it twice in two days. There was no stopping him. A girl wearing a bikini made of less cotton than there is in the top of an aspirin bottle walked by.

He said, "Hey, Bitch! That's my boat out there! Wanna go for a wide? Don't make no difference to me!" She figured she had nothing to lose. She went. He took her 50 miles out, snatched the keys, and said, "P-P-Put out or g-g-get out!"

She grinned, took off her bottoms, and STINK! It stank up the whole ocean. He said, "Never mind, and don't get none of that on me!" She pulled her little gun out of her little purse, put it to his head, and said, "Eat it or get out!"

At this point, his friend asked, "What did you do?" The little guy asked, "You didn't hear about no fool drowning out there, did you?"