Sailors in Church Service

Two British sailors attended a church service in Stockholm. Not speaking a word of Swedish, and not wishing to appear out of place, they sat behind an important looking man. When he stood up or knelt down, they did the same. At the end of the service, the pastor made what was evidently an announcement, whereupon the man in front of the sailors rose to his feet, and they did likewise - to a roar of laughter from the congregation.

As the sailors left the church, the pastor spoke to them in English, so they asked him the reason for the laughter. "Oh!" he said, "I mentioned that next Sunday morning there was to be a baptism... and would the father of the child please stand up."

Room for the Night

Two priests are making their way to a remote monastery by foot. To get there, however, they have to go through the town and the town is full of hookers.

The first they pass, flashes her thighs and says "Want some fun, just 20 bucks for the night".

Anyway, the priests are shocked and hurry on their way.

This goes on about three more times.

The weather starts getting bad and they are nowhere near the monastery yet. A big storm is brewing, lightning flashes etc. the priests are very lucky to find a nunnery on their way.

They go in, explain their situation to the Mother Superior and ask if there is room to sleep.

Then they ask "How much for the night?"

To which she answers "20 bucks, same as in town".