While exploring their honeymoon hotel room, the bride discovered a little box attached to the bed.

"What's that for?" she asked her spouse.

"If you put a quarter in," he answered, reaching into his pocket, "The bed starts vibrating,"

"Save your money, honey," she cooed. "A quarter in and I start vibrating, too."

The Best Worms

A man and his wife checked into a hotel for their honeymoon one warm June day. The desk clerk and hotel manager gave each other the 'nudge-nudge', indicating that they would never see the two of them all week long, as they would be up in the room, consummating their marriage.

But, to the managers' amazement, the new husband came down the stairs at 5:00 am, dressed in waders, with fishing poles and tackle boxes in tow. He left the hotel, and did not return until the sun was dropping beneath the horizon.

This same routine was performed for the next three days...the husband would come down the stairs early in the morning, decked out for a day of fishing, and be gone for most of the day.

The hotel manager was amazed...if his wife was as attractive as this mans wife was, he would be in bed with her all day long! So , he decided to confront the man when he returned from his day of fishing.

Around 7:30 that evening, the husband returned. Immediately, he was confronted by the hotel manager. "Sir, I must ask you...have we in some way failed you as a hotel?"

"Why do you ask", asked the husband.

"Well, Sir, every day, you leave your wife alone, to spend the day fishing. I would have expected you to spend the day with her, making love to her."

"Oh, I see what you mean", said the man. "My wife is unable to make love to me, as she has Gonorrhea"

Taken aback, the manager replied "But certainly, Sir, you could have her perform oral sex on you?"

"Can't. She has pyorrhea, and her mouth hurts her to much"

"Sir, what about Anal sex?"

"Nope. She has diarrhea"

"But Sir," said the most shaken manager. "If you wife has Pyorrhea, Gonorrhea, and Diarrhea, why on earth did you marry her?"

"Well," said the man "I like to fish, and she shits the best worms!"