There was this cowboy named Jake who got himself fired from his job at the ranch. He was out of work for a while, then started to get hungry. So he swallowed his pride, and went to the other ranch in those parts to ask for work--it was a sheep ranch.

They hired him, of course, not too many cowboys wanted to herd sheep.

The first night he was there, the other cowboys there woke him up. "Get up, boy," they said. "It's time for your initiation!"

Initiation! But how bad could it be, he thought to himself. Afterall, they were a bunch of sheep tenders!

So they took him out back of the sheep-pen, and he saw all the other guys lined up waiting.

"Go on," they said, "Boy, it's time you showed you were a REAL man!"

"Huh?" he said.

"That's right," they said, pointing at the sheep, "Show us you're a real man."
Oh, no, he thought, they couldn't possibly want him to...but then he really needed the job. So he squared his shoulders and went and picked out a sheep. He led it behind the shed. After a moment, the other were rewarded by the sounds of, "Baaaah BAAAAH..."

A couple of minutes later the cowboy came back out, buttoning his pants, to see the other guys all laughing at him.

Oh, great, he thought, now I've really been had. "So, what?" he said, "Was I not supposed to screw the sheep?"

"That's not it," they laughed. "It's just that you picked out an ugly one."

Humping Dog

A woman complained to her vet that her mongrel would start humping her every time he came into the house, "Is there anything you can do?" she asked.

"Well," the dog Doc answered, "we could cut his balls off to cut his sex drive down."

"Oh no," the woman replied, "that seems a bit rough. Couldn't you just clip his nails and do something about his bad breath!"