Mississippi

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following;

"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. I come again. Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Imma just tellun my friend howa ta spella Mississippi."

Japanese Mail Order Bride

This white guy marries a Japanese mail-order bride. She doesn't speak any English. During sex she always starts screaming "YOSHI DOSHI, YOSHI DOSHI!!!" and her husband interprets this as meaning "Very Good!".

A few months later, the husband goes out golfing with some Japanese business associates. 

The one fellow gets a hole in one and the husband figures he'll impress the guy so he claps his hands and yells "YOSHI DOSHI!!!"

The Japanese guy gets really pissed off and yells back "What do you mean, wrong hole?"

Happy New Year !

Happy New Year !!!

Best Wishes for the Year Ahead !!!