This overly endowed guy says to his Doctor, "Doc, I've b-b-been st-st-st-stuttering for y-y-years, and I c-c-c-can't st-st-stand it anymore! Can you h-h-h-help me?" The doc says he'll see what he can do and puts him through the whole battery of tests; GI series, brain scans, etc. After all that is over says he thinks he knows what's causing the patient's stuttering. The guy excitedly asks, "Well, wh-wh-what is it, d-d-d-Doc?"

The doctor replies, "Well, I know this sounds crazy, but you have an unusually large penis. It's a foot long. It seems its weight is putting a strain on your vocal cords that most men don't have to deal with. The only cure I know of is to remove it and transplant a shorter one."

The patient thinks for just a moment, and says, "OK! Do it." So he goes through with the operation, and 3 weeks later comes back for a follow-up appointment.

He says, "Doctor, you surely cured my stuttering problem and I don't know how to thank you. But I've only had sex once since then, and my wife really doesn't like this shorter penis. In fact she's making life hell. So, I've thought about it, and decided I can out up with the stuttering easier than going without sex. I want you to put my long one back on!"

The doc says, "N-n-n-nope,. A d-d-d-deal's a d-d-d-deal"

Stucked Vibrator

Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist when she got her vibrator stuck inside of her.

"To remove that vibrator," said the doctor, "I'm going to have to perform a very long and delicate operation."

"I don't think I can afford that," said Sally. "Could you just replace the batteries?"

Strange Headache

Joe was moderately successful in the career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem. "The good news is I can cure your headaches. . ." 

"The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine.

The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need: a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see. . .size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job."

Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked,

"How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure . . ."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see. . .34 sleeve and . . . 16 and a half neck." Joe was surprised,

"That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job."

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure . . ."

The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see...9 and a half wide."

Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job." Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked,

"How about a new hat?" Without hesitating, Joe said, "Sure . . ."

The salesman eyed Joe's head and said, "Let's see. . .7 5/8." Joe was incredulous, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job." The hat fit perfectly. Joe was feeling great, when the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"

Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure . . "

The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36."

Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

Stamp on the Stomach

A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit prior to the birth of their first child. After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife's stomach with indelible ink.

The couple was curious about what the stamp was for so when they got home, he dug out his magnifying glass to try to see what it was. In very tiny letters the stamp said, "When you can read this, come back and see me."