Parrot Made Phone Calls

Dave went to the pet store and bought himself a parrot. The parrot could speak 5 different languages.

After a week, Dave had to go out of town on business. When Dave returned home and received his phone bill in the mail, he found $500 worth of phone calls had been made.

He asked the parrot about it, and the parrot explained that he had made the calls to his friends around the world.

Dave was furious. He told the parrot that he had to go out of town again and that he had better not make any calls, or else. Yet when Dave returned, he found the same thing Had happened when he received a phone bill for $1000.

Dave took the parrot and nailed his two wings to the wall. The parrot hung his head down, then looked over at the crucifix next to him and said "So, how high was your phone bill?


A farmer and his wife are given the gift of a parrot from a relative. The Parrot, a male, sneaks out and screws the next door neighbor turkeys and rushes back home, but not before being caught in the act.

The neighbors knock on the door and explain what the Parrot was up to. The owners reprimand the parrot and tell him if he doesn't stop it, they will have to shave his head.

That night the Parrot, overcome with desire, sneaks out again and screws his neighbor's turkeys again. The next morning the owner ties the bird down and proceeds to shave his head. The next day at the farmer's daughters wedding, to please the relative, who had given them the parrot, they sit the parrot on the piano and tell him that he should greet all the guests and direct them to their seats in the church.

The parrot is doing fine. "Groom's guests to the left and Bride's guests to the right."

Until finally two bald men arrive and then he announces, "And you two Turkey fuckers up on the piano with me!!!"