Days with Letter R

The newlyweds were suffering from exhaustion and after an examination, their doctor advised, "It's not unusual for young people to overdo things during the first weeks of marriage. What you both need is rest. For the next month I want you to limit your sex life to those days of the week with an "r" in them. That is, Thursday, Friday and Saturday."

Since the end of the week was approaching the newlyweds had no immediate difficulty following the medico's orders. But on the first night of scheduled rest the young bride found herself eager as a beaver. Hubby fell asleep, but she tossed and turned and finally nudged her spouse into partial wakefulness.

Expecting daylight, and confused with the darkness, he asked, "What day is it honey?"
She looks at him with a gleam in her eyes and says, "Mondray."

Confession Before Marriage

On their way to Vegas to get married, a wife-to-be confesses to her guy that the reason they have not been too intimate is because she is very flat-chested. If the guy wishes to cancel the wedding, it is OK with her.

The guy thought about it for a while, and said he does not mind she is flat, and sex is not the most important thing in a marriage.

Several miles further down the road, the guy turned to the girl and said that he also wants to make a confession that he has a penis just like a baby. If the girl wants to cancel the marriage, it is OK with him.

The girl thought about it for a while and said that she does not mind, and she also believed there are other things far more important than sex in a marriage.

They were happy that they are honest with each other. They went on to Vegas and got married.

On their wedding night, the girl took off her clothes; she is as flat as a washboard. Finally, the guy took off his clothes. After one glance at the guy's naked body, the girl fainted and fell to the floor.

After she became conscious, the guy asked, "I told you before we got married. Why did you still faint?"

The girl said, "You told me it was just like a baby!"

The guy replied, "It is -- 8 pounds and 21 inches!"