Male Emotions

One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby's crib. Silently she watched him. 

As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism.

Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband.

"A penny for your thoughts," she said.

"It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make such a wonderful crib like that for the low price we paid for it."

Making Love in the Dark

A woman has been married to her husband for ten years, and for all those ten years her husband insisted on making love in the dark. No matter how much she asked him, he would never turn the lights on.

One night she grew tired of this and turned on the light while they were making love and saw that he was using a dildo on her. She says, "Honey, how could you do this! All this time you've never told me. Explain yourself immediately!!"

The husband says "OK, I'll explain, but first you have to explain the kids."

Magic Mirror

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop and hangs it on her bathroom door.

One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror on my door, make my bust-line forty four".

Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. 

Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened and in minutes they both returned.

This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror, mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!".

Again, there's a bright flash... and both his legs fall off.

Lottery Ticket

The wife comes home and has $5000 in cash. When her husband asks, "Where did that come from?" She replies, "I won it in a lottery!" To which he replies, "That's great! Let's go celebrate."

The next day she comes home with a full-length mink coat. Again the husband asks, "Where did that come from?" She says, "I couldn't believe it! Another lottery ticket came through for me!!"

The next day she comes in, looking tired, wearing a two-carat diamond ring. The husband says, "I know. You won the lottery, right?" She replies, "Why, yes, as a matter of fact, I did. Honey, would you draw me a bath? Please?"

"Sure," he answers. So, the guy goes in and starts drawing the bath water for his wife. After he gets a quarter inch of water in the bottom of the tub, he turns off the water. "Your tub is ready." He calls to his wife.

She starts to get in the tub and looks at him, dismayed, and asks, "Why is there only a quarter inch of water in here?"

To which he loudly replies, "I wouldn't want you to get your lottery ticket wet!"