Insatiable Sex Appetite

"When I realized that I couldn't satisfy my wife's insatiable sex appetite," the man said to his drinking buddy, "I bought her quite an assortment of every sex toy made, thinking that would keep her faithful."

"Did it work ?" asked the friend.

"Well, kinda..." the man replied. "But now, every time I do feel like a little, I find myself 3rd or 4th in line."

Got Fuck for a Duck

A father was trying to decide which of his 3 sons to leave his money to. He decided that the best way to find out was to give each of them a duck & see which one could get the most for it on the market. The 1st son came back with $5, the 2nd son $10. The 3rd son was determined that he would receive the inheritance & he set out on his journey. He saw a lady in the market. He asked her how much she would pay him for the duck. She replied "I won't pay you a thing, but I'll fuck ya for it" he agreed. Afterwards when he had given her the duck he said "hey, that's a nice duck you got there, I'll fuck ya for it" The lady, still in shock from the wonderful sex she had just had, agreed. After they had finished she started to hand him the duck, but it ran out the door & was trampled to death by a horse & cart. "Lady! u killed my duck!" he complained. "Here's $15 for it" she said as she handed him $15. Satisfied he ran home. When his father asked him what he got he replied excitedly "I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, & $15 for a fucked up duck !!!!!"

Another duck version.....
A farmer and his young son were struggling to keep the farm going after the death of the farmer's wife. While planting the north forty, they ran out of seed. "I hate to ask this, I know how much you love your pet duck Gertrude, but I want you to go to town and sell her and buy more seed while I plant what we have left". The son reluctantly agreed it was necessary and set off on foot, since they had already sold the truck. He had to walk by the whorehouse, so he stopped when he saw the door open, for he had always been curious. "I'm only a poor farmboy, but I always wanted to know what goes on in here. I have no money to pay; only this duck." The madam, seeing his bulge, said "I wouldn't normally do this, but business is slow. See Alice, last door on the right." After repeating his sad story, Alice agreed to take the duck, and proceeded to demonstrate her craft. Finding him very well endowed, she said, "I'll give you back the duck for another go." He agreed. Shortly, a sailor arrived and burst in the door to Alice's room. "My ship leaves in an hour and I have to see Alice once more before I leave; I'll give you $10 to let me go first." After a while the boy, worried about how long he was gone and what he had done, went back to the farm. His father saw him come back with the duck and started to berate him. Exasperated at his reception, he blurted "Look! I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, ten bucks to duck a fuck, and I've still got the fuckin' duck!!"