Valentine's Card II

One of my neighbors sure learned a lesson last year on Valentine's Day. He gave this card to his wife extolling her virtues, beauty,and charm; said how lucky he was to have her; that he didn't deserve such a good woman.

Seems the more she thought about it, the more she agreed with him.

She left him before the end of the month.

Valentine's Card

Last year my wife said all she wanted for Valentine's Day was "the card." I picked out a real expensive one and thought the matter closed.

She got mad with me anyway.

Turns out the card she wanted was her own Visa Platinum.

How in the hell am I supposed to know what it's called!

Preacher at the Party

A local preacher was paying a visit to one of his church members on a Friday night, and heard a loud party as he approached the house. He knocked on the door and the owner answered.

Behind him, he saw a circle of naked men, with blindfolded women moving from man to man, fondling each man's package, and guessing who it was. The preacher, seeing this, said "I'm sorry. I don't think I'd fit in here right now."

"Nonsense," the man replied. "Your name's been called three times already."