Scotsman at a Baseball Game

A Scotsman was at a baseball game. It was the first time he had ever seen the sport so he sat quietly. The first batter approached the mound, he took a few swings and then hit a double. 

Everyone was on their feet screaming "Run, Run." This happened two more times, with a single and a triple.

The Scotsman was now excited and ready to get into the game. The next batter came up and four balls went by. The umpire called "walk" and the batter started on a slow trot to first.

The Scotsman, extremely excited now, stood up and screamed, "R-R-Run ye basstarrd, rrrun!"

Everyone around him started laughing. So the Scotsman, extremely embarrassed, sat back down. A friendly fan, seeing the Scot's embarrassment, leaned over and said, "He can't run - he got four balls."

The Scotsman then stood up and screamed, "Walk with pride, man... walk with pride!"

Overweight Golfers

Two overweight middle-aged men were both ordered by their physicians to get a lot more exercise.

They both took up golf and became partners.

On their first time out, the one man said to the other, "I don't have the energy to play too long today."

The second shook his head in agreement and said, "OK, We'll quit as soon as either of us makes a hole in one."