Construction Worker's Dog

Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were.

The first was an engineer, who said his dog could do math with calculations. His dog was named T-Square, and he told him to get some paper and draw a square, a circle, and a triangle, which the dog did with no sweat.

The accountant said he thought his dog was better. This dog was named Slide Rule. He told him to fetch a dozen cookies, bring them back, and divide them into piles of three, which he did with no problem.

The chemist said that was good, but he felt his dog was better. His dog was named Measure.

He was told to get a quart of milk and pour seven ounces into a ten-ounce glass. The dog did this with no problem.

All three of the men agreed this was very good, and their dogs were equally smart. They all turned to the construction worker and asked, "What can your dog do?

The construction worker called his dog, whose name was Coffee Break, and said, "Show these fellows what you can do!"

Coffee Break went over and ate the cookies, drank the milk, shit on the paper, screwed the other three dogs and claimed he injured his back. While doing so, filed a grievance for unsafe working conditions, applied for workman's compensation and then clocked out early on sick leave.

Bragging about their Dogs

Three blokes are in a pub bragging about their dogs. Each claims to have the world's smartest dog.

The first bloke says, "MY dog is so smart, every morning I give him two dollars and he goes to the corner shop to buy me the Herald Sun. He knows it's the only paper I'll ever read. He comes back with the correct change. Now that's a smart dog."

The second bloke says, "That's nothing. Every morning I give my dog ten dollars and he goes to the corner shop to buy me a packet of Peter Jackson. He knows it's the only brand I'll smoke. He comes back with correct change. Now that's a smart dog."

The third bloke says "That's nothing. You know the corner shop where your dogs trade? Well, my dog runs the place!"