A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately,
the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he
finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.
He goes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it
above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling.
"WHICH ONE OF YOU SIDEWINDERS STOLE MY HOSS?" he yelled with surprising
forcefulness.
No one answered.
"ALRIGHT, I'M GONNA HAVE ANOTHA BEER, AND IF MY HOSS AIN'T BACK OUTSIDE BY
THE TIME I FINISH, I'M GONNA DO WHAT I DUN IN TEXAS! AND I DON'T LIKE TO HAVE TO
DO WHAT I DUN IN TEXAS!"
Some of the locals shifted restlessly.
He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse is back! He saddles-up and
starts to ride out of town.
The bartender wanders out of the bar and asks, "Say partner, before you go...
what happened in Texas?"
The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."
Real Cowboy
An old cowboy - dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and
chaps - went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey,
a young lady sat down next to him.
After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?" To which he replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences, so I guess I am."
After a short while he asked her what she was. She replied, "I've never been on a ranch. I am a les. I spend my whole day thinking about women. I get up in the morning thinking of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV - everything makes me think of women."
A short while later she left, and the cowboy ordered another drink. A couple sat down next to him and asked,
"Are you a real cowboy?"
"I always thought I was," he answered, "but I just found out that I'm a les."
After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?" To which he replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences, so I guess I am."
After a short while he asked her what she was. She replied, "I've never been on a ranch. I am a les. I spend my whole day thinking about women. I get up in the morning thinking of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV - everything makes me think of women."
A short while later she left, and the cowboy ordered another drink. A couple sat down next to him and asked,
"Are you a real cowboy?"
"I always thought I was," he answered, "but I just found out that I'm a les."
Indian Mating Season
Two Indians and a computer geek were walking along in the desert when, all of
a sudden, one of the Indians took off and ran up this hill to the mouth of a
cave. He stopped and hollered into the cave... "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" and
then listened very closely until he heard the answer... "Woooooo! Woooooo!
Woooooo!" He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.
The geek was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about, was that Indian goofy or something? "No," said the other Indian. "It is mating time for us Indians and when you see a cave and holler, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!", and get an answer back, that means that she is in there waiting for you.
Well, just about that time, the other Indian saw another cave. He took off and ran up to the cave, then stopped and hollered, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" When he heard the return, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!", off came the clothes and into the cave he went.
The geek started running around the desert looking for a cave to find these women that the Indians had talked about. All of a sudden, he looked up and saw this great big cave. As he looked in amazement, he was thinking, "Man! Look at the size of that cave! It's bigger than the ones that those Indians found. There must really be something really great in this cave!"
Well... he took off up the hill at a super AST speed with his hopes of ecstasy and grandeur. He got in front of the cave and hollered, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" He was just tickled all over when he heard the answering call of, "WOOOOOO! WOOOOOO!! WOOOOOOOOO!!! Off came his clothes and, with a big smile on his face, he raced into the cave.
The next day, in the newspaper, the head lines read,
NAKED COMPUTER GEEK RUN OVER BY FREIGHT TRAIN!!!
The geek was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about, was that Indian goofy or something? "No," said the other Indian. "It is mating time for us Indians and when you see a cave and holler, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!", and get an answer back, that means that she is in there waiting for you.
Well, just about that time, the other Indian saw another cave. He took off and ran up to the cave, then stopped and hollered, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" When he heard the return, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!", off came the clothes and into the cave he went.
The geek started running around the desert looking for a cave to find these women that the Indians had talked about. All of a sudden, he looked up and saw this great big cave. As he looked in amazement, he was thinking, "Man! Look at the size of that cave! It's bigger than the ones that those Indians found. There must really be something really great in this cave!"
Well... he took off up the hill at a super AST speed with his hopes of ecstasy and grandeur. He got in front of the cave and hollered, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" He was just tickled all over when he heard the answering call of, "WOOOOOO! WOOOOOO!! WOOOOOOOOO!!! Off came his clothes and, with a big smile on his face, he raced into the cave.
The next day, in the newspaper, the head lines read,
NAKED COMPUTER GEEK RUN OVER BY FREIGHT TRAIN!!!
Indian in Horseback
An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas
when her car broke down.
An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. Right away she noticed the Indian was trying to get the horse to trot. If the horse slowed to a walk the Indian would kick it; if it started to lope he would slow it down. The jiggling up and down was a little much, but she didn't want to complain. After all she did have the saddle horn to hang onto.
The ride was uneventful otherwise except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant.
"Nothing. I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the attendant said, " that Indian was riding bareback.".
An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. Right away she noticed the Indian was trying to get the horse to trot. If the horse slowed to a walk the Indian would kick it; if it started to lope he would slow it down. The jiggling up and down was a little much, but she didn't want to complain. After all she did have the saddle horn to hang onto.
The ride was uneventful otherwise except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant.
"Nothing. I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the attendant said, " that Indian was riding bareback.".
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