Father O'Grady

Father O'Grady was saying his good-byes to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service as he always does when Mary Clancey came up to him in tears.

"What's bothering you, dear?" asked Farther O'Grady.

"Oh, father, I've got terrible news." Replied Mary. "My husband passed away last night."

"Oh, Mary!" said the good father. "That's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"

"Yes...," Mary replied sheepishly.

"Well?" "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down the gun.'"

Donation for Church Construction

One night in a small town, the church burned to the ground.

The following Sunday, the congregation had to hold services under a huge tent. "Please donate as much as possible," implored the minister, "so that we may start the construction on our new church as soon as possible."

Suddenly the town hooker spoke up and said, "I'd like to donate $2,500, Reverend."

The minister replied, "As desperately as we need the funds, I refuse to accept tainted money!"

A male voice in the back of the tent shouted out, "You might as well take it Reverend, it's our money anyway."

Dividing the Collection Plate

A rabbi, a priest and a minister were discussing how they divided up the collection plate after services.

The minister explained that he drew a circle on the ground, tossed the collection in the air. All the money that landed in the circle was for God, and all that landed outside wa for himself and the parish.

The priest used a similar system. He drew a straight line on the ground, and the money that fell on one side was for God, and the other for himself and the church.

The rabbi said that his was a similar system. "I toss the offerings up in the air, and anything God can catch He can keep."