Noah's Boat

Listen up!" Noah said with a demanding voice."There will be NO sex on this trip. Not even the wetting of the tips of your penises. All of you males, take off your dicks and hand it to my sons. I will sit over there and write you a receipt. After we see land, you can get you dicks back."

After about a week Mr. Rabbit stormed into his wife's cage and was very excited. "Quick!" he said. "Get on my shoulders and look out the window to see if there is any land out there!"
Mrs. Rabbit got onto his shoulders and looked out the window. "Sorry, no land yet." "Shit!" and out went Mr. Rabbit.

This went on every day until Mrs. Rabbit got fed up with him. "What is the matter with you? You know it will rain for forty days and nights. Only after the water has drained will we be able to see land. Why are you acting so excited every day?"

"Look!" said Mr. Rabbit with a sinister look on his face as he held out a piece of paper. "I GOT THE DONKEY'S RECEIPT!!"

Missionary

A missionary is sent into deepest darkest depths of Africa to live with a tribe. He spends years with the people, teaching them to read, write and good Christian values. One thing he particularly stresses is the evil of sexual sin. "Thou must not commit adultery or fornication!"

One day the wife of one of the Tribe's noblemen gives birth to a white baby. The village is shocked and the chief is sent by his people to talk with the missionary. "You have taught us of the evils of sexual sin, yet here a black woman gives birth to a white child. You are the only white man who has ever set foot in our village. Anyone can see what's going on here!"

The missionary replies, "No, no, my good man. You are mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence - what is called an albino. Look to thy yonder field. See a field of white sheep, and yet amongst them is one black one. Nature does this on occasion."

The chief pauses for a moment then says, "Tell you what, you don't say anything about the sheep, I won't say anything about the white baby."

Men shall Inherit the Earth

God created the donkey and told him: you will work tirelessly from sunrise to sunset, carring heavy bags on your back, you'll eat grass, you will not have intelligence and you will live 50 years. You will be a DONKEY!
The donkey answered: I'll be a donkey, but living 50 years is too much, give me only 20 years. And God gave him 20 years.

God created the dog and told him: You will look after the men house, you will be his best friend, you will eat whatever they give you and you will live 25 years. You will be a DOG!

The dog answered: God, living 25 years is too much, give only 10. God gave him 10 years.
God created the monkey and told him: You will jump from branch to branch, you will do silly things, you will be amusing and you will live 20 years.

The monkey answered: God, living 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years. And God agreed.

Finally, God created man, and told him: You will be Man, the only rational being on this earth, you will use your intelligence to control other animals, you will dominate the world and you will live for 20 years.

The man answered: God, I'll be man, but living 20 years is not enough, why don't you give me the 30 years that the donkey refused, the 20 years that the dog did not want and the 10 years that the monkey refused.

That was what God did, and since then...

Man live 20 years like a man, then he enters adulthood and spends 30 years like a donkey, working and carrying the load on his back. Then when his children leave home, spends 15 years like a dog, looking after the house and eating whatever is given to him. Then he gets into retirement, and spends 10 years like a monkey, jumping from house to house or from children to children, doing silly things to amuse the grandchildren.