Can't Have a Descent Jobs

A fat and ugly little man from Bangladesh named Futh decides that since he cannot get a decent job in his own country, he would immigrate to the United States and try his luck there.

Three months later in New York he runs into a someone that he knows (not a friend, because he is much too hideous to have any of them), and they start discussing jobs.

"Are you working now?" asked the acquaintance, who was only talking to him out of pity anyway.

"No'" replies Futh. "I just quit my job at Coney Island. A man had me put my head through a canvas, and the customers would throw baseballs at my head. I couldn't sit down for a week!"

"You silly moron, what does getting hit in the head have to do with sitting down?"

"Oh, I forgot to mention. The back of the canvas was rented out as a dart game."

Buying a Bra

A drunk advised the clerk that he wanted to buy a bra for his wife.

Clerk: Here are several styles to choose from, sir.
Drunk: This one will do the job!

Clerk: Do you know the size that your wife requires,sir?
Drunk: 7 1/2

Clerk: I'm sorry, sir, but bras are not made in that size. Here is a standard listing of mamufacturer's sizes. Perhaps you can pick from those.
Drunk: 7 1/2.

Clerk: There is some mistake. Let me bring in our buyer to help.
Drunk: 'Measured it myself! Size is 7 1/2!!

Clerk: But, sir--
Drunk: 7 1/2, God dammit !!!

Clerk: Perhaps you can tell me how you measured? What did you use?
Drunk: My hat!