The Messy Nurse

The nurse was walking down the hospital corridor when her supervisor spotted her. The supervisor couldn't believe it:

The nurses hair was unkempt, her dress wrinkled, and to top off her overall dishevelment, one of her breasts was hanging out of the open front of her uniform!

"MISS JENNINGS! How can you account for parading around the hospital not only looking like a derelict, but with your breast exposed!"

"Oh," said the nurse, as she stuffed her breast into her uniform, "It's those darn interns! They NEVER put anything back when they're through using it!"

Tennis Elbow

A guy goes to see the doctor about a sore elbow. When he gets in, the doc tells the man about a new machine he has where all he has to do is pee in a cup and the machine will tell him what's wrong.

So the man gives the urine and the doctor puts it into the machine and it says that he has tennis elbow. The man was amazed. On his way out the nurse gave him another cup and said that if he had any more problems that he could just pee in the cup and drop it by the doctor's office and they would take care of it.

Well a couple of days passed and the guy decided to fool the doctor and his new fancy machine. So he got his daughter to pee in the cup, then he got some motor oil off the dipstick on the car then he masturbated into the cup. he stirred it up real good and took it to the doctor.

The doctor put the sample into his machine and told the man to wait outside. It took about an hour before the doctor came back.

He said "sir, I'm afraid I have some bad news." the man said "tell me doc I can handle it." The doctor replied," well your daughter is pregnant, your car is about to throw a rod, and if you don't quit masturbating you'll never get rid of that tennis elbow!"