Texas Couple

One day a young Texas couple decided to get married. After the wedding they left for their honeymoon. While driving down the road, the new bride sees two cows having sex. The new bride asks, "What are they doing honey?" The husband answers, "They're roping!" she replies, "Oh, I see!".

After a few more hours of driving they pass two horses having sex. Again the bride asks, 
"What are they doing honey?" the husband answers, "They're roping!" she replies, "Oh, I see!"

Finally they arrive at their hotel. The couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they got in the bed, they started to explore each others body. The bride discovers her husbands penis. "What is that?" she asks. "That is my rope" he answers. She slides her hands down further and gasps, "What are those?" she asks "They are my knots" he answers.

Finally the couple begins to make love. After several minutes the bride says "Stop honey, wait a minute!" Her husband asks "What's the matter honey?" The bride replies, "Undo those knots and give me more rope!"

Most Beautiful Night

On his honeymoon, a very thick South African Boer farmer, Piet Kruger, insisted on having a room with a balcony overlooking the sea.
On retiring for the night after the wedding, his new bride emerged from the bathroom dressed in some very sexy lingerie.

"Ag Hendrik, come in off the balcony and see what I have waiting for you to savor for the first time" she said coyly.

"No thanks, I want to sit out here," he said.
So Marie sat down brushing her golden hair for 10 minutes after which she invited Hendrik once more to come in off the balcony to take pleasure of her virginal body. Once more he refused. Eventually Marie grew tired of waiting and she retired to the wedding bed and fell asleep.

In the morning, she awoke to find him still sitting on the balcony.

"Why did you spend the whole night out there when you could have been making love all night?" she asked.

"Well my pa said the first night of my marriage would be the most beautiful night of my whole life - and I didn't want to miss a moment of it."