Zebra on a Farm

A zebra was visiting a farm. "Hi," she said to the rooster. "What do you do here?"

"I make sure everyone gets up on time for a nice early start on the day," he replied.

"How about you?" she asked a cow.

"I supply the farmer and his family with fresh milk, so they can make butter and cheese," the cow said.

"And what's your job on the farm?" the zebra asked a stallion.

"Get out of those fancy striped pajamas," he answered, "and I'll show you."

Young Rooster

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years. And the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt anything. So he buys a young cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard. Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he gets a little worried. "So, they're trying to replace me," thinks the old rooster. I've got to do something about this.

He walks up to the new bird and says, "So you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff, don't you? Well I'm not ready for the chopping block yet. I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and whoever finishes first gets to have all the hens for himself."

Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy. "You're on," said the young rooster. "And since I know I'm so great, I'll even give you a head start of half a lap. I'll still win easy."

So the two roosters go over to the hen house to start the race with all the hens gathering around to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the roosters on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead. After the second lap, the old guy's lead has slipped a little but he's still hanging in there.

Unfortunately the old rooster's lead continues to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he's just barely in front of the young rooster.

By now the farmer has heard all the commotion. He runs into the house, gets his shotgun, and runs out to the barnyard figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the hen house, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead. He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away. As he walks away slowly, he says to himself, "Darn, that's the third gay rooster I've bought this month."

Whale of a Job

There were two whales out at sea, when the male whale seen the boat that killed his father. He asked the female whale if she would help him turn the boat over, she agreed.

They got under the ship and blew water out their blowholes as hard as they could and the boat capsized and all the sailors started swimming to the shore.

The male whale then turned to the female whale and asked her to gobble up as many of the sailors as she could.

The female whale said "Hey, I agreed to the blowjob, but I'm not going to swallow seamen.