Season Greetings




The Camel

A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted men's barracks.

He asked the Sergeant leading the tour, What's the camel for?"

The Sergeant replied, "Well sir, it's a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, we have the camel."

The Captain said "Well, if it's good for morale, then I guess it's all right with me."

After he had been at the fort for about 6 months, the Captain could not stand it anymore, so he told his Sergeant, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!"

The Sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the Captain's quarters.

The Captain got a foot stool, climbed up on it and proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel. As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool and was buttoning his pants he asked the Sergeant, "Is that how the enlisted men do it?"

The Sergeant replied, "Well sir, they usually just use it to ride into town."

Stolen Car

Whilst walking his beat, a policeman is bemused to find a young man, clearly drunk, staggering about with a key in his hand.

"They've stolen my car," the drunk shouts. "It was right here earlier, right on the end of this key."

"More importantly, sir," the policeman says, "are you aware that your penis is hanging out?"

"Oh my God!" wails the drunk. "The bastards have got my girlfriend as well."