Screw in the Head

One day this lady goes into a plastic surgeon's office. She wanted something that would take away the wrinkles in her face. The doctor suggested that they put a screw in her head and every time she wanted the wrinkles out of her face she would tighten the screw. The lady agreed to this idea and went home with a screw in her head.

About a month later the lady came in complaining that the screw wasn't working.

"look at these bags under my eyes, they're hideous! I want my money back!" "Listen lady," said the doc, "those bags are your breasts and if you keep tightening that screw all the time you're soon gonna have a beard!"