A guy went out golfing and took a high-speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he dropped to the ground. When he finally got himself to the doctor, he said, "How bad is it doc?
I'm getting married next week, and my
fiancée is still a virgin in every way."
The doc said, "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and
keep it straight. It should be okay by next week." So he took four tongue
depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage, and taped it all together;
a pretty impressive piece of work.
The guy mentioned none of this to his girl. They got married and on the
honeymoon night in their hotel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a
gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he saw them, and she said,
"You'll be the first; no one has ever touched them before." He tore off his
pants and said, "Honey, look at this, still in its original crate!"