A Ukrainian and a Jew were discussing how far each could make a dime reach, and agreed to try it and meet a few days later to see who'd get the most out of a dime.
The Jew bought a cigar, and smoked one-third the first day and saved the
ashes. He smoked one-third the second day and saved the ashes. He smoked
one-third the third day and again saved the ashes, and on the fourth day he gave
the ashes to his wife to use as fertilizer on
her roses. He told the Ukrainian,
"I know you can't beat that for stretching a dime."
The Ukrainian said, "I got you beat. I bought a Polish sausage for a dime,
and the first day I ate one-half, and on the second day I ate the other
one-half. The third day I used the skin for a rubber, and the fourth day I took
a sh*t in the skin and sewed it back up. The fifth day I took it back to the
butcher and told him it smelled like shit. He agreed with me and gave me my dime