Harry was delighted when he found a young woman who accepted his proposal of marriage, as he was sensitive about his wooden leg and a bit afraid no one would have him. In fact, he couldn't bring himself to tell his fiancée about his leg when he slipped the ring on her finger, nor when she bought the dress, nor when they picked the time and place. All he kept saying was, "Darling, I've got a big surprise for you," at which she blushed and smiled bewitchingly.
The wedding day came and went, and the young couple were at last alone in
their hotel room.
"Now don't forget, Harry, you promised me a big surprise,"
said the bride.
Unable to say a word, Harry turned out the lights, unstrapped his wooden leg,
slipped into bed, and placed his wife's hand on the stump.
"Hmmmmmm," she said softly, "That IS a surprise. But pass me the Vaseline and
I'll see what I can do!"