A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had
prescribed testosterone (a male hormone) for her. She was a little worried about
some of the side effects she was experiencing.
"Doctor, the hormones you`ve been giving me have really helped, but I`m
afraid that you`re giving me too much. I`ve started growing hair in places that
I`ve never grown hair before."
The doctor reassured her. "A little hair growth is a perfectly normal side
effect of testosterone. Just where has this hair appeared?"
"On my balls."
This elderly woman went to the doctor's office for a check up.
The doctor asked if she had any problems. The woman said that she had terrible farting problem, but they where silent & didn't smell. In fact she had farted at least 10 times since she had been in the office, but as they where silent & didn't smell he wouldn't have known. The doctor listened to her story and then gave her a prescription for some pills. He told her to take these for a week and then come back to see him.
A week later the elderly woman returned to the doctor's office and complained " I don't know what you did but those pills you gave me have got my wind smelling awful, mind you they are still silent but boy do they stink !!"
The doctor replied, "Good, now that your sinuses are cleared up we will work on improving your hearing !!!!!"
The doctor asked if she had any problems. The woman said that she had terrible farting problem, but they where silent & didn't smell. In fact she had farted at least 10 times since she had been in the office, but as they where silent & didn't smell he wouldn't have known. The doctor listened to her story and then gave her a prescription for some pills. He told her to take these for a week and then come back to see him.
A week later the elderly woman returned to the doctor's office and complained " I don't know what you did but those pills you gave me have got my wind smelling awful, mind you they are still silent but boy do they stink !!"
The doctor replied, "Good, now that your sinuses are cleared up we will work on improving your hearing !!!!!"
Failing Manhood
Concerned about his failing manhood, a farmer went to the local doctor for
help. The doctor gave him a small container of pills and told him to take no
more than one a day.
Back home, the farmer thought he'd try the medication on his stud horse first. The horse swallowed the pill, jumped out of his stall, kicked a side of the barn over, and ran off down the road.
"Those pills are too strong for me," the farmer thought, and pour the rest into his well.
Later, when the doctor came to check on him, the farmer told how he had disposed of the medication.
"Heavens!" exclaimed the doctor. "You haven't drunk any of the well water, have you?"
"No," said the farmer. "We can't get the pump handle down."
Back home, the farmer thought he'd try the medication on his stud horse first. The horse swallowed the pill, jumped out of his stall, kicked a side of the barn over, and ran off down the road.
"Those pills are too strong for me," the farmer thought, and pour the rest into his well.
Later, when the doctor came to check on him, the farmer told how he had disposed of the medication.
"Heavens!" exclaimed the doctor. "You haven't drunk any of the well water, have you?"
"No," said the farmer. "We can't get the pump handle down."
Environmentalism
A young woman from California purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon.
There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to
get a good view of her land, so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared
the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her.
In her haste to escape, the she slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her private parts. In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor.
He listened to her story then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared.
The angry woman demanded " What took you so long?" and he replied "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area."
In her haste to escape, the she slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her private parts. In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor.
He listened to her story then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared.
The angry woman demanded " What took you so long?" and he replied "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area."
Elderly Woman
An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she
was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills."
Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?"
The woman responded, "They help me sleep better."
The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?"
The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice and I sleep better at night."
Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?"
The woman responded, "They help me sleep better."
The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?"
The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice and I sleep better at night."
During her Annual Check Up
During her annual check-up, a well-built lady was asked to disrobe and climb
onto the examining table.
"Doctor," she replied shyly, "I just can't undress in front of you."
"That's all right," said the physician, "I'll flick off the lights. You get undressed and tell me when you're through."
In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness, "Doctor, I've undressed. What should I do with my clothes?"
"Your clothes?" answered the doctor. "Put them over here, on top of mine!"
"Doctor," she replied shyly, "I just can't undress in front of you."
"That's all right," said the physician, "I'll flick off the lights. You get undressed and tell me when you're through."
In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness, "Doctor, I've undressed. What should I do with my clothes?"
"Your clothes?" answered the doctor. "Put them over here, on top of mine!"
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