The wealthy old gentleman and his wife were celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary and their three grown sons joined them for dinner.
The old man was rather irritated when he discovered none of the boys had
bothered to bring a gift, and after the meal, he drew them aside.
"You're all grown men," he said, "and old enough to hear this. Your mother
and I have never been legally married."
"What?" gasped one of the sons. "Do you mean to say we're all bastards?"
"Yes," snapped the old man, "and cheap ones, too!"