Thank you for calling the White House. You have reached the White House voice mail system. No one is available to take your call at this time because the entire administration is out to lunch.
Please follow these instructions carefully to leave your message. When you
are finished, don't hang up until the FBI finishes tracing the call. Have a nice
If you are male and would like to leave a message for the president, press
If your are female and would like to leave a message for the president, press
If you are male and would like to leave a message for Chelsea, press
To leave a message for Buddy, press D-O-G.
To leave a message for Socks, press D-O-G-F-O-O-D.
To leave a message for Roger Clinton, press A-A.
To leave a message for Ted Kennedy, Press 7-A-N-D-7.
If you are calling to arrange a night in the Lincoln bedroom, press
If you are calling to arrange a White House coffee, pres Y-E-N.
If you are calling to support Hillary's birth control program, press
If you are calling leave a message for Janet Reno, press W-A-C-O.
To leave a message for a member of Congress, press
To leave a message for the Gore2000 campaign, press H-O-P-E-L-E-S-S.
If you wish to make a complaint, press B-I-T-E-M-E.
To speak to an operator, press O.
To speak to a slick operator, stay on the line and the President will answer
your call shortly.